Old mate Barnaby has had a tough week.  If having your private life splashed across the front pages for weeks, embarrassing your ex-wife, your kids and being publicly shut down by the Prime Minister is your ambition, then we have the answer for you. We’ve put together the guide to being a naughty boy in the workplace, Barnaby Joyce style.

If the politicians don’t behave, how long until the PM calls for a Bonking Royal Commission? #BarnabyJoyce #auspol

— Lisa Wilkinson (@Lisa_Wilkinson) February 15, 2018

Step 1: Get elected

If you’re not the best looking bloke, or prone to going beetroot red after a few shandies, one of the great aphrodisiacs is power. Being a politician won’t make you attractive to everyone, but it widens the net – particularly if your chosen profession is accounting.

Step 2: Build a profile that stands out

Canberra is filled with politicians nobody either knows, remembers or cares about. To penetrate (pun not intended) outside the Canberra bubble, you’ve got to do a few things to get noticed. Laying a foundation for how he lives his personal life, Barnaby voted against his own party in 2011. The party hated that but they helped him build a profile regardless.

Not in parliament? Then perhaps try a LinkedIn profile that’s sure to attract the babes.

Step 3: Get active with your colleagues

Being physical is important, as are good ball skillz.

Step 4 – Make good use of your office resources

If being elected, having a profile and hitting the gym isn’t enough, you can always use taxpayer dollars to fund your love life. This is a hard one to replicate for the average Joe, but if you’re a former accountant from Tamworth with a propensity for more than a few Froth Whitlams, you use everything to your advantage.

BREAKING: Labor says taxpayer money from a department administered by Barnaby Joyce has gone to a business owned by his mate who supplied the free apartment in Armidale #auspol

— Bevan Shields (@BevanShields) February 15, 2018

So What Can We Learn From Barnaby?

We know Barnaby successfully managed steps 1 to 4, but what would Barnaby be thinking now? Having never destroyed a marriage, had four kids, nationally embarrassed four kids or had a Prime Minister publicly question my morals and ethics, I can only assume that Barnaby might share the following lessons.

Tell us, please, @david_day_ famous Australian Prime Ministerial biographer. Has any PM ever so publicly humiliated his Deputy PM in the manner Malcolm Turnbull did – rightly, in my view – to Barnaby Joyce, today?#Auspol

— Peter FitzSimons (@Peter_Fitz) February 15, 2018

If The Nationals are looking to replace Barnaby Joyce as leader, this guy’s ready to step in. pic.twitter.com/IEUDd9RsoB

— Mark Humphries (@markhumphries) February 15, 2018

Thanking Your Family For Their Support (The Right Way)

If you are going to have an affair, best to deal with your marriage problems first. Living on the road for 24 years as your wife raises your four daughters is a questionable marriage tactic – best not to thank them by having an affair with your staffer and then having it on show to the world.

Taxpayer-Funded Poon Travel Is Not Always The Best Travel

Don’t claim travel allowance if you head to Canberra to continue your affair. Taxpayers pay for that, and we struggle enough paying for our own dates let alone the Deputy Prime Minister’s.

In short, this is a man who has earned $416,000 a year for nearly two years and likes to give cost of living advice to capital city residents. He also accepted party funds to keep him going for six weeks during a byelection caused by his own non-compliance with the constitution

People Will Always Point Out Your Double Standards

If you’re going to claim that same-sex marriage is immoral, make sure you’re not having an affair as you say it. Double standards are never very nice, particularly when it affects people that are genuinely in love.

Barnaby’s Final Piece Of Life Advice

If you want to have an affair then be prepared to put it all on the line. Your family, job and public reputation needs to be worth the gamble. Barnaby was known as a loveable larrikin and one of the great retail politicians. Now he’s the amorous root-rat who’s no doubt regretting his actions.

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What does the perfect summer’s day look like? How about downing a big glass of murky Sydney Harbour water during golden hour.

Whilst it’s not exactly the first beverage one would consider (you know, incase you die), researchers at the CSIRO have gone ahead with the experiment and discovered a way to filter Sydney Harbour’s water down to a safe and drinkable standard.

RELATED: To Boost Your Sex Appeal, Science Says Eat This

Dr Dong Han Seo, Dr Adrian Murdock and Dr Zhao Jun Han took water samples directly from Sydney Harbour and trialled it on a new invention known as Graphair, CSIRO’s own patented compound made from the wonder material known as graphene.

Graphene on its own is rather intriguing. It’s had starring roles as Iron Man’s face armour in comic books, but in the real world it’s also known as one of the strongest materials ever created from a single layer of carbon atom. In final form to the naked eye it’s an ultra thin and entirely transparent structure – like sticky tape.

In the CSIRO’s interest, graphene is also water repellant which makes it perfect for water filtration. Sydney Harbour water was scooped up and taken back to the labs where it was tested with Graphair to surprsing results.

Water contaminants would normally pose a problem for traditional water filters without Graphair. This happens when chemicals or oil based substances clog up the filter pores, preventing any of the clean water from passing through. This resulted in extra filtration via a two stage process, making it both time consuming and expensive.

RELATED: Science-Backed Reasons You Should Consider Taking Cold Showers

With Graphair coated on the standard water filter’s membrane, there were no clogs and improved levels of filtration from contaminants. More specifically, researchers from the University of Sydney, UTS, QUT and Victoria University found that without Graphair, the membrane’s filtration rate halved in 72 hours.

That’s pretty damn impressive for something that’s made out inexpensive soybean oil, most often found in vegetable oil (yes, the stuff in your kitchen pantry). So what does all this breakthrough research mean for the perennially perched?

Safe and clean drinking water for 2.1 billion people in the world who don’t have access to it. As for drinking the murky stuff of Sydney Harbour, we’ll let the enthusiastic guinea pigs at it first.

The post You'll Soon Be Able To Drink Water From Sydney Harbour…But Would You Really Want To? appeared first on DMARGE Australia.

Listen up, smooth operator. Your days of grazing the lovely ladies of Tinder may soon come to an abrupt end. The dating app is moving to implement a new feature which will let women decide whether or not they want men to message them first.

This is the same feature that currently exists on the rival dating app, Bumble. According to Match Group’s CEO Mandy Ginsberg (the company which owns Tinder), “Often, women don’t really want the pressure of kicking off the conversation, but if they want it, that’s great,” she told MarketWatch.

Female users can simply toggle whether they want the men message first feature to be on or off. Meanwhile, the company’s move towards this feature is in direct response to curtailing bad behaviour, negative behaviour, unwanted advances and inappropriate communication, according to Ginsberg.

Will this new feature ruin your Tinder game? Let us know in the comments or start afresh with our guide to pick up lines and awesome Tinder bios.

The post Tinder Is Copying Its Main Rival & Will Soon Block Men From Messaging Women appeared first on DMARGE Australia.

Boseman. Chadwick Boseman. Even the name has a suave ring to it and now the 41-year-old Black Panther actor has backed it up with a red carpet wardrobe worthy of stealing hearts and wrecking homes.

At the recent premiere run of the standalone Marvel film known as Black Panther, the first feature comic book film to feature an entire black cast and director, Boseman rocked a range of winning looks.

The first was a loud floral motif blazer paired with a black turtle neck and trousers. It’s loud but in the most sophisticated way possible, making it the perfect fit for the leading character. The same can be said about Boseman’s lavish gold foil satin double breasted blazer with Japanese flower motif. Could you pull it off? Not likely. And that’s because you’re not Chadwick Boseman.

Even when Boseman dabbles in triple black, there’s a degree of thought and careful curation put in with high gloss double monk shoes paired with a zebra print overcoat.

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Keep it in your pants, champ. If you thought you were having the best sex of your life right about now then you’re probably wrong.

American dating site Match.com recently released their Singles in America report which claims that the Tinder/Grindr generation weren’t the ones having the most mind-blowing sex – it was their parents.

More specifically, the study suggested that single men aged 64 and single women aged 66 were the ones taking out the crown for ultimate sexual satisfaction. First thing’s first, ew. And secondly, these findings were based on a survey of 5,000 singles of ranging ages, ethnicities and income levels throughout the U.S.

Vanessa Marin who is a sex therapist and creator of an online orgasm course isn’t surprised with the finding. She told the Huffington Post that sex tends to improve once people learn that their sex appeal isn’t based entirely on their physical appearance. It’s this very concept that takes people years to learn, according to Marin.

“With my clients in their 20s and 30s, self-consciousness is a huge factor in why they aren’t able to enjoy sex: Younger people are too in their heads about what their bodies look like, how they’re performing and what their partner is thinking. Eventually, that wears off,” said Marin.

“Even between the 20s and the 30s, there’s already a significant decrease in self-consciousness.”

This surprising find goes against the common perception of sex being a bit off beyond the age of 50. That stigma is something that stems from the challenges of middle aged sex which can include things like premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.

Celeste Hirschman who is a sex therapist and author in the area of love making explains that some kinds of sex can become difficult as we age but “the plus is that these changes generally make communication and creativity much more essential”.

“When we’re young, sex is often a swift race to penetrative sex without much foreplay or fantasy added in. When penetrative sex is less of a goal, people can become more creative and sex can actually get a lot better,” Hirschman told the publication.

With a more progressive approach to sexual intercourse in today’s world, L.A sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson believes that, “sex at 65 or 70 can feel carefree and easy because it’s more about pleasure and connection and less about performance and ‘selling yourself.'”

Hirshman added that lowering shame and judgement around sex should lead to better copulation for people of all ages – not just your mum and dad.

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It’s time to welcome the all new Mercedes-AMG G63 to the world.

After much hype about the biggest design overhaul yet for the iconic luxury off-roader, the AMG camp have finally revealed their performance-based G-Wagen overnight. The big news? It will come with insane power figures to match the German carmaker’s track-focused AMG GT R that’s been honed at the Nurburgring.

A tuned 4.0-litre bi-turbo V8 under the bonnet now delivers 430kW (577HP) of power and 850Nm of torque – a serious step up from the previous model’s. The new power figure is sent to all four wheels via a nine-speed automatic gearbox to bring the 0-100km/h sprint down to 4.5 seconds.

And the aerodynamics to aid top speed? Doesn’t need it. It’s a G-Wagen after all and this one can force itself to 220km/h with the flow efficiency of a luxury toaster on wheels. Those concerned with saving the environment will be glad to know that the SUV comes with cylinder de-activation which help the big drinker achieve a combined fuel consumption of 13.2L/100km.

AMG also tweaked the front and rear suspension to help improve the SUV’s overall drivability both on and off the road. This comes in the form of the AMG’s ride control suspension which allows for adaptive damping for each individual wheel based on road surface.

On the visual front the AMG G63 will be more aggressive than ever even though the new model variant sports smoother lines. This comes in the form of flared wheel arches, twin exhausts, AMG badging and big 22-inch wheels.

Throw in the AMG Night package and customers will receive tinted headlights, tail lights, windows, Obsidian Black mirror housings and the option of 21-inch or 22-inch wheels covered in matte black.

Take a look at the comprehensive promo below to see what the cabin interior’s all about.

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Every year the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am golf tournament brings together some of the most recognised names in and out of golfing circles.

The event itself sees celebrities, pro athletes and select amateurs all joining a hot contest in the name of charity. And one man who has taken this contest to new heights with his golfing attire alone? Bill Murray.

Over the course of the week-long competition the 67-year-old displayed an dazzling array of outfits with everything from flamboyant bellbottoms to Asian robes to Elmer Fudd headwear. It’s a lot of styles to take in but if anyone can pull it off, it’s the Ghostbusters actor.

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Don’t fear death? Well it could be time to trade up the weights for a quick treadmill session to meet your maker. Researchers from Queen’s University have found that a short five minute treadmill test could determine when you die.

The study headed by researcher Louise de Lannoy can specify the risk of mortality independent of traditional factors such as weight, age, blood pressure, smoking status, diabetes, cholesterol and family genetics.

The procedure itself is known as a maximal fitness test which is performed on a treadmill with the maximum incline steadily increased to a point where the participant can no longer continue. The test which has received overwhelming evidence for its effectiveness in the past often gets overlooked in medical clinics because of its time-intensive set up which also causes patients to be uncomfortable.

The Queen’s University researcher took this maximal fitness concept and shortened it further to make it a submaximal fitness test which is equally as effective for determining premature death.

So what use is there for knowing how much more juice you’ve got left in the tank? A chance to cheat death, naturally.

“This study shows that the risk association with submaximal fitness is similar to that of maximal fitness, which suggests that the submaximal fitness test, which requires less than one-third the time of a maximal fitness test and does not require the patient to reach maximal exertion, is a pragmatic alternative to maximal fitness tests for assessing mortality risk in clinical settings,” says de Lannoy.

“Submaximal fitness predicted mortality risk above and beyond traditional risk factors, therefore this test provides information that influences and enhances patient management.”

The conclusion of this result took into account the data collected from 6,106 men and women. These subjects were tracked from 1974-2002 via their submaximal test performance over time in relation to death.

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