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Australian Woman’s Embarrassing Encounter Reveals Perils Of ‘Small City Dating’

‘Everyone knows everyone.’ It’s a phrase uttered by many, regardless of whether you live in a city or a small town. It’s especially true in Australia, with cities and regions divided into smaller suburbs that many residents don’t leave, meaning they bump into the same people on a daily basis when out for a walk or heading to the shops.

While a quick catch up over a coffee is part and parcel of Australian culture, the confined nature of suburbs can rear its ugly head when it comes to dating. For the single community, chances are you come across the same faces time and time again when swiping through Tinder, or you end up dating someone that your best friend’s cousin has also dated.

The limited pool of potential matches has been restricted even further within the past year, with lockdowns around the world forcing us to stay indoors or, at the very least, close to home, with no chance of heading to bars and clubs to dance the night away and hook up with someone new. It’s a topic recently discussed on the ABC’s ‘The Hook-Up’ podcast, in which host Nat Tencic hears stories from various Australian men and women about the perils of dating in small towns, and if you thought six degrees of dating separation only happened to you, think again.

Lauren in Melbourne, “I had gone on a few dates with a guy, it didn’t go anywhere, it turns out one of my girlfriends had also dated him prior to that.”

“But a few months later we were at a pub and the guy was there, then my friend’s friend arrived, sees the guy, and tells us that she had also been dating him recently and it had just ended. So it turned out the three of us all sitting there having a drink together with the poor guy on the other side of the room, just trying to avoid eye contact with us I think.”

Nat asked the question, “how did you feel with the three of you all realising that you’d trodden on the same ground?” Lauren said, “it’s a little bit strange, but it was probably worse for him actually.”

“I guess in Melbourne, you’re going to think you’re not going to run into those sorts of issues all the time, does this sort of thing happen to you a lot?”

“I think it does, it’s actually quite a small place, the online dating scene at least. There’s always someone who’s spoken to someone else online before you’ve dated them, and bits and pieces like that.”

Laura’s experiences are similarly shared by Zoe in Adelaide, who has a bit of a confusing dating story.

“I dated this guy for a bit and then, things ended whatever, and this other girl started dating him. I was like ‘oh cool, well, we look kinda similar’, whatever.”

“And then I dated this guy who was my first boyfriend. I found out that the girl who dated the first guy, had also dated my boyfriend. We broke up and then that same girl started seeing my friend, sort of, we kind of knew each other.”

“They broke up and then he [the latest guy] messaged me, and we went on a surfing date, hit it off and now he’s my boyfriend, so now we have three exes in common which is fun.”

“Adelaide is a bit too small for my liking.”

Continuing to tell host Nat about the dating scene in Adelaide, Zoe says, “If you frequent pubs at all, you’re going to see the same faces every Saturday night, every Wednesday night, it’s a bit too close to home, but that’s ok, I’m sure she’s a cool person and we have a lot in common.”

Nat then brings up the subject of dating apps and how they could be used to find someone outside of your immediate circle. Features that allow you to adjust the size of your search radius have become more prominent and important than ever during the 2020 pandemic, with many singletons expanding their search in the quest for love. This has even meant some people have been looking to other countries for potential suitors, in the hope they will one day be able to travel there, meet up and live happily ever after.

DMARGE has previously spoken to OkCupid about such trends, and the dating app has shared with us, “Since the beginning of the pandemic, connections and conversations across borders are up nearly 50% among singles, and people are setting their location preferences to ‘anywhere’ more than ever before,”

In Zoe’s case, she didn’t actually need the apps to meet any of the three guys she mentioned, “but I used to use Tinder a lot, but you end up seeing too many faces at the pub that you’ve matched with, so I shut that down.”

“I don’t want another situation like this to happen.”

Fortunately, these situations could well be on the decline, and we have the global pandemic to thank.

Popular dating app Bumble recently shared some data with DMARGE that found over 35% of users in Australia had set their distance filter to over 100km, and 25% of that group had their radius set to the whole country. Of course, until all state borders are fully open, taking advantage of far-flung matches is still a fair way off.

Until borders open and restrictions ease, apps such as Bumble have introduced in-app video call features, which have proven to be popular. On Bumble alone, data shows a 76% increase in the use of in-app video calling during the week ended May 1 2020, compared to the week ending March 13.

If you’re someone who had slid into the DMs of every single person in your town to little success, do yourself (and everyone else) a favour and set your sights further afield.

What Makes A Perfectly Tied Tie?

Recognising when a tie isn’t tied perfectly should be pretty easy: It could be too long or the knot could be too big or small. A badly tied tie will just look wrong.

So what makes a perfectly tied tie? Firstly, you’ll want a well-shaped and symmetrical knot (occasionally you could end up with one edge of the knot being longer than the other). You also want a small dimple or crease to be seen just below the knot, at the point where the main portion of the tie extends downwards.

And as for length, you should have your tie finish just above your belt. You don’t want to do a Donald Trump and have your tie so long it could be mistaken for Rapunzel’s hair, and neither do you want it to be so short that you may as well be wearing a bow tie.

What Are The Different Tie Knots?

There are three main ways to tie and a tie and one predominantly used method for a bow tie (although, a 1999 book written by Thomas Fink says there are 85 Ways To Tie A Tie).

Not only will you need to learn how to master each of the knots, but you’ll also need to have an encyclopedic knowledge with regards to when and where to use them, and what shirts and suits they work best with. Nobody ever said tying a tie was easy.

Four-In-Hand Knot

The Four-in-Hand Knot is the one most guys will be exposed to in their tie tying journies. It’s the easiest to learn and is even known as the schoolboy knot, due to its simplicity and popularity among high schoolers.

The origin of its name is up for debate, but the most agreed-upon story says that members of the Four-in-Hand Club in London – a 19th Century driving club (which practised recreational carriage driving) began wearing ties, eventually causing them to become fashionable accessories.

Because of its asymmetric appearance, the Four-in-Hand knot is best suited to informal or business casual occasions, which also explains why it works better with Oxford shirts or shirts with a point collar. As for which ties to use the Four-in-Hand knot with, the thinner the better. We’d argue that you can opt for ties up to 7cm in with.

Half-Windsor Knot

You would have likely heard of the Windsor Knot, but did you know about the Half-Windsor Knot? There isn’t a huge amount to separate the two, besides the full version requiring two more moves to complete.

Where they differ is what type of tie is used for the knot (such as the thickness) and the size of the man wearing it. Half-Windsor knots – being ever so slightly less symmetrical than their fuller sibling and thus generating a slightly smaller knot – are better suited to tall and athletically built guys.

Due to its greater width over the Four-in-Hand, the Half-Windsor knot can be used with shirts that rock a wider collar style, such as the Windsor Spread and Cutaway Spread.

Windsor Knot

The big daddy of the tie knot world: the Windsor Knot. Seen on guys of all types, from corporate bigwigs right through to Essex-like lads who do actually know how to dress well for weddings, the Windsor is the knot you really need to master if you want to be taken seriously.

Named after the Duke of Windsor, not because he wore the same knot, but because the public found a way to closely replicate the tie knot he did wear. The Duke in actual fact wore a Four-in-Hand knot but used custom-made ties that used a much thicker cloth.

There are around 10 steps to achieving the perfect Windsor knot, and you’ll do well to use a tie of a good thickness and width to accentuate the effect. It can be worn by large guys, tall guys, and built guys, but may look a little unusual on skinny guys (don’t worry, you can use the half-Windsor instead). As for shirts, wide collars are the order of the day.

A Bow Tie

And finally, we come on to the bow tie. You’ll likely only need to know how to tie a bow tie for black tie events, but you may also find you can wear one to inject a bit of fun into a formal or semi-formal outfit.

A bow tie takes practice, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. Guys will always appreciate another man who knows how to help them tie a bow tie, and you’ll look so much better being able to tie one yourself than using a clip-on or pre-tied version.

Fortunately, there’s only one way to tie a bow tie so get this right and you’re good to go.

So, now you know how to tie a tie, it’s time you went out and bought some decent ones to replace the common black skinny one all guys have in their wardrobe. You can check our round-up of best ties for inspiration.

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The Lowdown: How To Wash Jeans & Denim

The Lowdown: How To Wash Jeans & Denim

Caring for your denim takes 5 steps: breaking in, storing, washing, drying and repairing. Let’s break it down, boys.

Step 1 – Breaking In Your Denim

There’s no quick-fix for breaking in a new pair of jeans, so prepare yourself for a long process. The outcome and timeline of the breaking-in period depends on your lifestyle. Your denim will feel the effects more if you’re active than if you spend the day at a desk. To be on the safe side, expect to be perfecting your new denim for six months. Afterwards it will be well faded, full of interesting scrapes and scars, and ready for its first wash.

Step 2 – Storing Denim

Resist the urge to fold…

By folding your jeans (or worse, balling them up and tossing them in the corner), you create creases where they aren’t meant to be, effectively erasing any effort you’ve put into the fades forming in the thigh and back of the knee. Hang your jeans by their loops instead, which keep your hard work intact, helps your jeans maintain their natural shape and airs them out after wear.

Step 3 – Washing Denim

Don’t do it too soon, but don’t be afraid to do it when it’s needed either. It doesn’t matter how great they look, when your jeans start to smell, no one is going to be impressed by your style (or hygiene). Wash them inside-out, separately, in cold water, using a mild detergent. This is your best bet for keeping the dye intact and avoiding unwanted crinkles. If you’re really worried about preserving the colour, have them dry cleaned.

Step 4 – Drying Your Denim

Air dry. Air dry. Air dry. Did we get the point across?

Popping them in the dryer is a cardinal denim sin. Hot air causes shrinkage (and we all know that’s never a good thing), while naturally letting your denim dry won’t destroy your jeans’ shape. Turn them right side out after washing, shake them out, then smooth them with your hands to get rid of creases. Hang them in the shade to dry so the sun doesn’t cause fading.

Step 5 – Repairing

Repair your damaged denim early to prevent its wounds from getting worse – assuming they’re not meant to looked ripped. Take care of frayed hems and crotch blowout at the earliest signs, before minor issues become full-blown emergencies. The essential skill to learn is “darning,” which weaves denim threads back into a beat-up pair of jeans to repair rips, tears, holes and other injuries with a natural look.

In This Story…

Fabric
Wide Legged Trouser Colour
Wide Legged Trouser Fit
How To Rock The Wide Legged Trouser
- And, starting out formal and getting more casual, here are the five best relaxed trousers for men:
Wool Trousers
Jaunty Jogger Wide Legged Trouser
Cool Cotton Pleat Trousers
Relaxed Jeans
New Age Cargos
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Fabric

Like slim and regular fit – wide leg trousers come in your typical pant fabrics – varying from fine to thick depending the season and occasion. “Wide leg trousers need structure,” says Tanaya. “As a rule, stick with wool. At SFTM, we use wool garbadine. It gives the trouser the weight it needs. Plus, you can machine wash it and its transeasonal, perfect for summer and winter.”

For a lighter material, look to cotton mohair-blend or a pure cotton with a coating. “For extra texture,” says Tanaya.

Wide Legged Trouser Colour

As a beginner’s rule, wide leg trousers look better in darker shades such as charcoal, navy and black and earthen neutrals such as camel, beige and stone.

“If you’re not one for colour, pants are a great way to introduce it into your look,” says Tanaya. Meanwhile, patterns provide a step-up for the wide leg trouser, too: checks, pinstripes or even polka dots all ideal for the nattier dresser.

“Look to a monochrome herringbone, or a coloured tartan check with a mix of colour — yellow, green, blue. Select your trouser first, and build your outfit up from the pant, keeping the top simple. You don’t want the top and bottom to fight each other for attention.”

Wide Legged Trouser Fit

Depending on the formality of the trouser, most will sit slightly higher on the waist, says Tanaya. “Go for one with a tapered leg from knee to ankle, and cropped ending with a clean hem or a five centimetre cuff. I like to pair mine with a statement sock and low profile sneaker or leather dress shoes.”

Front pleats are another stylistic choice. “Flat front or a single pleat – it’s a personal preference,” says Tanaya. Last add on? Pull tabs at the sides to give you shape at the waist, sans belt, and a more succinct, personalised fit, especially when the shirt is tucked.

How To Rock The Wide Legged Trouser

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Keep the top half of your outfit tailored or a clean, neat fit. A blazer or cropped jacket is ideal, cutting on (or just below) the trouser hem so to give you streamline waist, not swamping your torso.
Go for a cropped pair to keep the look contemporary, with a statement hem.
Opt for low profile dress shoes with a thick sole such as a pair of chunky derbies, or minimalist sneakers.

And, starting out formal and getting more casual, here are the five best relaxed trousers for men:

Wool Trousers

Wide-leg trousers faultlessly combine the smart look of tailoring with the comfort of more relaxed styles. For winter, look to grey and navy wool/flannel trousers, or a mohair-wool blend in summer.

“Like regular dress pants, get your wide leg trouser tailored to fit you properly, getting them altered post-purchase if you buy them off the rack,” advises Tanaya.

A tucked in collared shirt, knit or soft blazer works well with the woollen trouser. “But with tailoring, don’t wear a belt,” says Tanaya. “It cuts across your look and the belt becomes the focus, rather than the sweet jacket and trouser combo.” Wear these trousers to the office with polished brogues, switching to fresh and clean sneakers at the weekend.

Jaunty Jogger Wide Legged Trouser

The jogger (aka trackpant) is your athleisure answer to the wide leg trouser. “Track pants are a best-seller for us. Stick to one you can dress up — cut in a specific silhouette and fabric that doesn’t scream ‘trackpant’,” says Tanaya. An elasticated waist band and cuffed ankle which gives the trouser a nicer shape, designed to be worn lower and with a drawstring.

As for quality jogger fabrics. “Think rayon-blends for summer and cotton-bonded with neoprene for winter. The most luxurious will be made from double-faced fabric; cotton on the inside and wool outside.”

Overall, the trackpant is a great introductory piece to the wide leg. “It suits most body types and looks good on every guy.” To stand out, play around with colour and look to patches and embellishment for a point of difference. A safe way is wearing yours at the weekend with a bomber and simple sneakers, or a simple tee and hi-tops in summer.

Cool Cotton Pleat Trousers

Perfectly summer (without forgoing formalities), lightweight cotton pants in a relaxed leg offer breathability and style for any off-duty outfit. Look for a neutral coloured trouser with ruche front pleats and cropped wiht a regular stitch hem. A silk floral, revere-collared shirt is sharp spring or go fifties with a white cotton tee, super-fitted with a cotton chore coat or shacket.

Forgo socks too, slipping into a pair of loafers or white low profile sneakers. Final style tip? Tuck in the top, to show off those pleats. “Unlike tailoring, a tucked tee looks smart with a nice leather belt,” says Tanaya.

Relaxed Jeans

Jeans
While not trousers exactly, relaxed-fit denim are you super-cas go-to’s. Opt for your favourite pair of blue on a 12 oz. weight. Not too thin, which looks cheap, and not top heavy, as they’re harder to break in.

“Picture a painter’s denim jean,” says Tanaya. “A baggy, longer rise cut with the cuff rolled up three to four times. Don’t be scared to get it dirty, wear it in nicely, sleep in them even, and get nice creases. I’m into distressing, heavy washed denim.”

And, go Japanese. “They understand yarning, and indigo dyeing processing the best.”

New Age Cargos

While regular cargo pants are a style sin, there’s a new cargo kid on the block. It’s all about wide leg: a roomier thigh and seat area, and then tapered from the knee down. Compared to regular cargos, look for a pair with pockets that cut cleaner and simpler than traditional utilitarian versions too, less bulk.Stick to three-quarter pants, military pocket pants that are oversized. Darting on the knee gives back the illusion that your knee is bending, which looks cool,” says Tanaya.

Then there’s colour. Khaki still works well, but consider black, navy or charcoal for a less army aesthetic to your pants. “Look for textured fabrics, such as coated cotton, which shapes to your leg and crumbles a little, perfect for summer or winter.”

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The post Here's The Right Way To Wear Wide Leg Trousers appeared first on DMARGE Australia.

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What Makes A Perfectly Tied Tie?