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MJ Bale’s Latest Suit Will Help You Defeat Any Winter

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RSVP No To The Pity Party

Words matter. Ditch phrases like “Just my luck” and “I can’t catch a break” that paint you as the victim. Sorry to burst your cosy bubble of narcissism, but life doesn’t work like that. No cosmic force is out to get you, but the more you work to convince yourself it is, the harder pessimism will take hold. You don’t want to be the guest of honour at the pity party, and your partner sure as hell doesn’t want to be your plus-one.

Don’t Spread The Negativity Bug

The flu is contagious, but negativity is an insidious disease – and not only can it spread quickly through your own life, it’s communicable.

First healthy conversation turns into venting, then those occasional rage sessions become a full-time focus on life’s frustrations. There may come a time when you and your partner only connect over what makes you feel sad, mad, and hopeless.

Instead of using the strength of your relationship to build yourself up, you’ve allowed negativity to bring your partner down.

Practice Gratitude

Gently but firmly tell bitterness to piss off with a regular regimen of gratitude. When you’re stressed and depressed, force yourself to stop and say thank you.

For the job that pays your bills, for the car that gets you there, for the partner who welcomes you home with a stiff drink in the evenings – anything. You’re luckier than you think.

Notice the times when you don’t feel like everything is crashing down around you and live in those moments. Appreciate your life’s achievements and your partner’s acts of kindness, both big and small.

Talk The Talk

It’s trite-but-right advice time: talk it out. You must communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling. To do so, you must first acknowledge what you’re feeling to yourself. You’re in an uncomfortable place and your natural reaction will be to postpone the experience of it for as long as possible – but by doing so, you give negativity even more time to take root.

Try not to panic or procrastinate. Once you’ve had time to unpack some of the thoughts and fears gripping your mind, invite your partner into your world. Explain what you’re going through, how it’s likely to affect your life and your relationship, and how they can best support you through this time.

Know When To Shut Up

Depression, anxiety, or anger have a habit of making us act out. Our minds make assumptions and draw conclusions that are reflections of our own negative thoughts, not reflections of reality. Self-doubt or low self-esteem can make you question your relationship (“They doesn’t really care about me. I’m disappointing. I don’t deserve them.”).

You may set unrealistic expectations that your partner can’t possibly meet (“If they really loved me, they would…”). You may be hypersensitive to criticism or too quick to criticise others (It’s not a personal attack if they don’t wash the dishes). When you interpret neutral things in a negative way, your partner is constantly walking on eggshells in fear of setting you off. Make yourself pause and evaluate your disparaging thoughts honestly before expressing them.

Take Time For Self-Care

The airline mask analogy is immensely relevant here: you must put on your mask before assisting others. Self-care is a trendy buzzword right now, but that’s no reason to write it off. You are a better partner to your partner when you don’t sacrifice your own needs. Top up your resources – both emotional and physical – with the things you know make you feel good. Eat well, exercise, read, meditate, get regular massages, etc. Know when to remove yourself if you need alone time or are in danger of lashing out unfairly at your partner. If these acts of self-care feel selfish, remember that what makes you stronger and happier as an individual will improve your relationship as well.

Ask For Support (But Not Too Much)

Your partner wants – actively wants – to help you through times of crisis, but they are not a mind reader. It’s up to you to reach out when you know you need it, and to share how you can best be supported. What makes you feel calmer? Happier? More balanced? Loved? Tell your partner. Accept their assistance. But, and this is an important but, don’t make them responsible for your well-being. They cannot fix your problems for you. They should not be your sole source of support. Put your own oxygen mask on first, rely on a network of friends rather than just one person, and seek professional assistance if needed.

Offer Space & Empathy

A relationship is a two-way street, even when your streets have been ravaged by an existential hurricane. It’s essential that you remain considerate of your partner and their experience. Be patient with them as they learn to navigate the new circumstances. Try to view things through your loved one’s eyes and have empathy – you are not the only one feeling confused and hurt by the situation. When they need space, allow them to take it. Understand that they may need boundaries in order to be the strongest support for you. And speaking of support… be sure to give, not just receive. Your partner’s worries don’t disappear just because yours are magnified.

Seek Out Successes

One of the best ways to derail negative thoughts and turn disappointment on its head is to prove them wrong. Do something – anything – that confirms negativity doesn’t have control over your life. Complete a task you’ve be putting off. Cross something off your bucket list. Take stock of your positive qualities. Look for evidence of moments you were successful or overcame adversity. Build your self-esteem so you are not reliant on your partner’s validation. The more you can take action in positive directions, the more empowered you’ll feel to get your life back on track.

Remember To Reconnect

Spend time with your partner that has nothing to do with the shit state of your life. Connect over something positive. Find something fun to do together, even if it’s just a weekly Netflix date. It’s not about how much energy or effort the activity requires – it’s about getting out of your head, living in the moment, taking time for play, and renergising your relationship. Memories of the good days will get you through the bad ones.

How To Wear A Bow Tie With A Suit

Suits and neck ties are the modern gentleman’s uniform. Invariably combined with a white shirt and a smart pair of black or brown Derbies, it’s not an easy ensemble to add flare to. Cue the bow tie.

While some might think a bow tie with a suit is the domain of a mad professors, done right it can be a fresh take on the day-to-day work outfit. The trick is keeping it simple. Match a statement bow tie with a plain white poplin shirt and either a navy or charcoal suit. Save your splash of colour for the tie itself, playing with pinks, pale blues or even textured neutrals during the cooler months.

If you’re feeling especially bold, a bow tie paired with a three-piece suit makes for an even stronger sartorial statement. Just be sure to keep all other accessories muted or non-existent. With a bow tie, you may even want to do away with a pocket square; the bow is enough.

How To Wear A Bow Tie With Separates

If you’re headed to the races or polo over the next few months, there’s a good chance you’ll be opting for separates – a blazer paired with a contrasting pair of trousers or chinos. With so many adopting this look though, it pays to think about how you can stand out from the pack and a bow-tie may well be your answer.

Not to be mistaken with the bow ties that are reserved for formal occasions like your black or ivory satin styles, the more casual bow tie looks fantastic with semi-formal outfits and is an easy way to show off your fashion chops. For example, think about pairing a navy blazer and beige trousers with a yellow and pale blue striped bow-tie for a fresh take on preppy.

How To Wear A Bow Tie With Black Tie

A tuxedo is virtually defined by its accompanying bow tie. Simple, elegant and the most formal most people will ever get (we’ll get to white-tie another time), a black satin bow tie is timeless and a classic piece that you’ll have forever.

However, with so many versions on the market, one would be forgiven for being a little overwhelmed with choice. My suggestion is to eliminate options by keeping things simple. Stick with a black satin version that’s either pre-tied or a self-tie. Wear it with either a plissé front shirt with concealed placard or a studded bib front dinner shirt. Whatever you do, when wearing a bowtie with a tuxedo it’s essential to opt for a shirt that doesn’t show buttons. This is an easy way to distinguish a dinner shirt from an everyday work shirt and lends a sense of occasion to your look.

If you absolutely insist on straying from the traditional black for a formal event, keep your bow tie monochrome with minimal patterning. A discreet dot or paisley is an easy way to add flare without diverging too far from the dress code.

Pre-Tied Versus Self-Tie

For many gentlemen the very mention of a bow tie is enough to make them hot under the collar – not because of the accessory itself but rather because of the threat of needing to tie it. This leads us to the question of pre-tied versus self-tie.

For the purists, there really is no beating a self-tie bow tie. Elegant in its invariable imperfection, a self-tie is the marker of a true gentleman. Often made out to be more difficult than it really is, this bow tie uses a traditional shoelace knot to form two even loops. The key is keeping the knot itself tight and opting for a starchy fabric. This stops the bow from drooping over the course of an evening.

However, all this is not to say that a pre-tied bow tie is in anyway wrong. Indeed, for many there simply isn’t time to struggle with a self-tie and there are a growing number of tasteful pre-tied options on the market. The finest amongst them are from the incomparable Tom Ford who does a range of extra chunky bow ties in luxurious satins and velvets.

Whatever you do, avoid a clip-on. With such good pre-tied versions, there really isn’t a need and you can spot them from a mile away for all the wrong reasons.

Bow Ties FAQ

Can I wear a bow tie with a suit?

Of course. Just keep your suit simple, like a navy suit with white shirt, and reserve the pop of color for the bow tie. You can experiment with bold colors during the summer, but keep it subtle during the cooler months.

Can I wear a bow tie in semi-formal setting?

Yes. Choose a more casual bow tie with your semi-formal attire. Stripped bow ties in pale colors like yellow and blue will look great with a navy blazer and beige trousers.

What is a pre-tied bow tie?

A pre-tied bow tie features a neat, symmetrical bow stitched and attached to an adjustable band. This makes it easy to size and put on.

How often do planes usually get cleaned?

According to The Wall Street Journal, “It’s a murky area without clear regulatory standards.” That said there are three types of aircraft cleaning: daily, overnight and long-term.

However, officials from American Airlines, Delta Air Lines, United Airlines, Southwest Airlines, Alaska Airlines, Frontier Airlines and Spirit Airlines have all confirmed their aircraft only go through a “limited” cleaning between flights, The Points Guy reports.

“Turnaround times can be quick.”

The gist of it is, airlines clean the things you will notice (toilets, tray tables, seat backs, etc.) after every flight, but they don’t take the time to disinfect everything.

According to The Points Guy, if your plane has been in overnight, “The process then is much more thorough. While seats, tray tables and lavatories get attention, aircraft also are vacuumed. Galleys usually get a more rigorous disinfection. Walls and seat pockets may also get special consideration.”

“The most comprehensive cleaning to an airliner typically occurs every 30-45 days. In addition to seat covers, the tray tables, overhead bins and even ceilings are washed. Carpets are usually shampooed.”

Finally, “An even more thorough sanitation can take place when an aircraft goes undergoes a complete overhaul, otherwise known as a C-check. The frequency depends on the amount of time the aircraft has flown, but typically such heavy maintenance occurs about every one and a half years. During that time, any worn-out components in the cabin are also replaced.”

This information is backed up (with a pinch of salt either way) by Lifehacker and Viewfromthewing research.

Are there regulations?

According to Annexe 1 B 1 (d) of the IHR (International Health Regulations) 2005, “all States are required to take all practicable measures to ensure that international conveyance operators keep their conveyances free of sources of contamination and infection, which should include drinking water.”

“However, it is the responsibility of each aircraft operator to ensure that no sources of infection and contamination are found on board.”

The IHR added, “The basic principles of hygiene have not changed significantly since 1977; however, the magnitude of air transport operations has grown tremendously. The number of passengers flying on scheduled airlines rose from 438 million in 1975 to over 2 billion in 2006 (ICAO, 2006), figures that do not take into account charter flight passengers and global corporation business jet passengers, whose numbers are in the millions and increasing every year.”

In other words: it might be time for an update.

“Furthermore, the current trend in international civil aviation is towards aircraft of larger passenger-carrying capacity and greater range. The introduction of air services to areas with inadequate public health infrastructures, such as food handling and storage, water supply and waste disposal, creates a challenge for aircraft operators.”

“To protect public health, the application of high standards of hygiene should form an integral part of airport and aircraft operations.”

For short term stopovers, The World Health Organisation states: “priority should be given to the removal of waste and the cleaning of galleys and toilets.”

So, what’s a germophobe to do?

Wash your hands often, with soap and water, for at least 20 seconds.
Carry hand sanitizer in case the tap stops working (as happened to us on a recent trip).
Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth.
Keep the air vents above your seat open.
Wipe down down your arm rests and tray table with sanitary wipes.
Bring a face mask (and a hanky with eucalyptus oil).
Pick a window seat.