Modern Singles Bucking Trend By Looking For Love Outside Their ‘Safe Zones’
Modern Singles Bucking Trend By Looking For Love Outside Their ‘Safe Zones’

Most businesses have taken a beating this year, but a lucky few have managed to weather – or indeed benefit – from The Bat Kiss.One of them has been online dating services. Apps, websites and everything in between have been perfectly placed to deal with social distancing: we might have had to stay inside a bit more because of COVID but that hasn’t diminished the very human need for connection. If anything, it’s made us want it more: not only does the looming threat of a global pandemic and recession mean we could all do with some company but lockdown’s left us with little else to do but Netflix and chill.While you’d think that an inability to travel would mean we’d be narrowing our search radius when it comes to finding love, data from OKCupid would suggest the opposite is true.“Since the beginning of the pandemic, connections and conversations across borders are up nearly 50% among singles, and people are setting their location preferences to ‘anywhere’ more than ever before,” the leading online dating website shared with DMARGE.Looking back on data from the questions it uses to match people – a data pool of more 450 million responses from this year alone – OKC also report that more than 1.5 million people on their platform are now open to a long-distance relationship.Perhaps this demonstrates how people have resigned themselves to the realities of 2020. To an extent, dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Grindr thrive on proximity: you’re more likely to match with people who are in close proximity to you. However, proximity has become less of a priority this year – with the risk of contracting COVID-19 outweighing (or rather negating) the benefit of a quick and easy meetup.

 
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Indeed, another big trend that OKC’s data suggests is the rise of ‘slow dating’.

“As the pressure of rushing to meet up with someone IRL vanishes, we’re going to see a rise in ‘slow dating’ – a blend of deeper conversations and more romance through digital and virtual dating. Among 1 million respondents during lockdown, 84% of people on OKCupid think it’s important to have an emotional connection before a physical one.”

While restrictions are easing in some parts of the world, like Australia, New Zealand, Thailand and Vietnam, other countries haven’t been quite so lucky. According to The New York Times, there are currently over 11 million confirmed cases in the United States, and many European countries including Britain, France and Italy are bracing for a ‘third wave’.Looks like they’ll have to stick to online dating for the foreseeable future, then.

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Perth Man’s Reckless Purchase Exposes Sad Truth About Our Attitude To Money
Perth Man’s Reckless Purchase Exposes Sad Truth About Our Attitude To Money

Being money-conscious has never been more important.According to the OECD, “the COVID-19 pandemic has triggered the deepest economic recession in nearly a century, threatening health, disrupting economic activity, and hurting well-being and jobs.” With stimulus packages like Australia’s JobSeeker and JobKeeper petering out and Christmas looming, the need to have control over your finances is stronger than ever.One of the perennial questions people of all ages ask is ‘what is the best financial advice you wish you could have given to your younger self’. Whether it’s young professionals looking for the right start to seasoned savers looking for further savings, everyone’s keen to find that ‘silver bullet’ to financial success.But more often than not, asking for this sort of advice can leave you more confused than when you started, as this thread on Reddit’s /r/AusFinance reveals.The most absurd (and, we’ll admit, hilarious) of the lot? “Don’t sell your 7k worth of nab shares at $5.35 to buy a fucking car” – courtesy of user bildobangem, who – judging by previous posts – is a man from Perth.While there were some genuinely useful takes, like this commenter’s advice about building relationships – “be less shy, 20-year-old me… people don’t hire people just because they’re smart or good at their job; they hire people they like and trust” – most of the comments are the same sort of trite, stereotypical stuff that’s just common sense.“You don’t need the latest brand name bag/suit/dress/shoes/jewellery/perfume.” “Avoid fees.” “Get a job as soon as you can.” “Money isn’t everything.” You get the drill.Normally, /r/AusFinance is a great place to find reasonable financial advice, but this thread is somewhat lacklustre. But perhaps it’s not so surprising that such a hackneyed question received such lacklustre answers: it underscores a truth about our attitude to money.Too many people expect a magic solution on a silver platter but the reality is that you just need to listen to boring stuff and apply it consistently. The other truth is that even if there was a sure-fire way to ensure financial success… People wouldn’t be too eager to share it. It’s like George Bernard Shaw’s classic idiom: “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.”

Indeed, DMARGE reached out to a wide variety of financial advisors and firms and put the same question to them – what’s their best financial advice for younger people – and it was uncanny how similar the vast majority of responses were. They too were similarly predictable: invest early, live within your means, and don’t smoke.Again, maybe it’s not in their best interest to let people in on the ‘secret recipe’ – because then they’ll be out of a job. Or maybe, less cynically, it’s because ensuring financial success isn’t necessarily rocket science. It’s about having that discipline and doing all the boring, common-sense things everyone suggests (but don’t always follow themselves).Young people, including young Australians, are increasingly lacking in optimism in regards to their financial future. According to a survey of young professionals conducted by ME Bank earlier this year, 64% feel uncertain about their financial future. Moreover, 37% are living week to week and struggling to keep afloat. 82% of young Aussies surveyed believe that the ‘Great Australian Dream’ – owning a dream home, finding a dream job and retiring at or before 65 – was easier for past generations to achieve, and don’t see it as something in their future.But maybe we shouldn’t be quite so pessimistic. There’s a balance to be struck between blinkered optimism; holding out for a lightning cure to our money woes, and being too sceptical.Or maybe we should just pour all our savings into gold and Tesla stock

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Sydney Peninsula Goes Full ‘Black Mirror’ To Counter Beach Overcrowding
Sydney Peninsula Goes Full ‘Black Mirror’ To Counter Beach Overcrowding

Think the last back pocket weapon Sydney council discussed to ensure social distancing was cruel? Think again: the latest method of monitoring social distancing at the beach may go above even that.

Sydney’s Northern Beaches and parks will see drones flying above them this summer, to help authorities make sure too many people don’t congregate at one time.

Saturday marked the program’s debut.

The program will be trialled for four months, and is a collaboration between Surf Life Saving NSW and the Northern Beaches Council, “introduced ahead of what is anticipated to be one of the busiest summers on record on Sydney’s beaches,” news.com.au reports.

RELATED: Photographer Reveals Australian Winter Ritual Americans Will Never Understand

“Among numerous beaches that will be under surveillance includes the inner beachside suburb of Manly which is one of 21 beaches to be monitored,” (news.com.au).

This is in an effort to “avoid a repeat of scenes in the early days of the pandemic when authorities were forced to close Bondi Beach and other spots after thousands flocked to the coast, with many ignoring social-distancing rules,” Bloomberg reports.

 

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Manly beach was already under surveillance from drones before the pandemic (they were simply used as a tool for lifeguards to count and monitor crowd numbers and beach safety).

Likewise, some surf lifesaving clubs already use similar technology to detect sharks.

“It is going to be a very busy summer,” Northern Beaches Council Mayor Michael Regan said on Friday at the drone project launch at Manly. “This partnership is a critical part of our summer Covid safety operations.”

 

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“Nobody wants the beaches to be shut,” said Paul Hardy, chief remote pilot for Surf Life Saving NSW. “This is a tool that will allow them to stay open for longer.”

According to Bloomberg, “Initially, the drones will operate at over 20 beaches and parks from this Saturday through to the end of February.”


According to 9 News, the trial of the beach and park drone surveillance service comprises the following locations:

  • Little Manly Beach and Reserve
  • Shelly Beach
  • Manly Beach
  • North Steyne
  • Queenscliff
  • Freshwater Reserve
  • South Curl Curl
  • Dee Why
  • Long Reef
  • Collaroy + Reserve
  • Narrabeen
  • North Narrabeen
  • Warriewood
  • Mona Vale
  • Bungan Beach
  • Newport
  • Bilgola
  • Avalon
  • Whale Beach
  • Palm Beach

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‘Geographia Non Grata’: Positano Photo Confirms Travellers’ Greatest Fear
‘Geographia Non Grata’: Positano Photo Confirms Travellers’ Greatest Fear

Positano is positively incredible. Pastel buildings, saliva-inducing restaurants; more views than you can slurp a strawberry gelato in front of.Unfortunately, for many of us, it’s also – along with anywhere outside our borders – geographia non grata. A place we can lust after but not visit, thanks to the current constraints of international travel.Australians are forbidden from travelling point-blank.Though much of the rest of the world can technically voyage, they will find it more costly and complex (and face quarantine on arrival potentially both at their destination and upon their return home).The upshot? Many are holding off travelling for the time being.The consequence to that? FOMO.The following photo of Positano in June 2018 captures the sentiment impeccably.Posted on Reddit by user u/laid__back, the photo is captioned, “The stunning Positano in the Amalfi Coast (Trip to Italy in 2018 when travelling was simple).”The image depicts the town in all its glory, boats out front, garden in the foreground, mountains out back.Surely enough, it inspired a fair amount of FOMO among other users of the Reddit r/travel community.

“These pictures truly remind me how different life was just a year ago.”

“I guess life really isn’t fair! I was supposed to travel there in May and take my parents as a gift since they never travel and I was so excited to give something back to them. Here’s hoping in a few years we will be able to make the trip. At least once a week I fantasize about being there, sipping on an Aperol Spritz,” one user wrote.

 
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“The Amalfi Coast is at the top of my honeymoon list, hopefully we won’t be in covid-22, already cancelled going to Europe in March,” wrote another.

“Yeah it’s absolutely amazing. I’ve never seen another place where the beautiful mountains just meet the sea like that.”

“I was supposed to go in September,” yet another commented.Further FOMO comments included: “I swear once this covid pandemic gets under control I’m sparing no expense to travel throughout the EU again” and “Ah man, that’s when things were easy, hope we can go back to that.”

“Was supposed to make a stop here on my honeymoon with my wife this past spring. Covid-19 cancelled that. Can’t wait until the world is back to normal so I can hopefully visit one day!”

The photo also suggests – despite the various health risks we could be worrying about right now – when we congregate online as travellers, our greatest fear is still of missing out.The discussion also wandered into some of the unique traits of Positano, with one user remarking on one of the big ‘culture’ shocks many tourists recieve: the stairs.“One of my all time favourite spots. What a way of life people there have (minus all the stairs to walk up).”

 
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“That’s how they’re all so skinny and beautiful despite eating pasta all day,” another replied.

“Have you seen the old Italian women who live there? They are not skinny. They’re built like bulls.”“Yeah for sure. I swear I saw a woman who must have been 90 doing it with shopping bags. My unathletic 27 year old ass couldn’t keep up.”

Finally, others recommended hiking the Path of Gods to Positano – a great recommendation if there ever were one.

 
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Yet another locale to add to the post-Covid bucket list.

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The Rock Halts Netflix Production With Uncomfortable Porsche Problem
The Rock Halts Netflix Production With Uncomfortable Porsche Problem

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is incredibly buff. The former WWE champ and football player – better known these days as one of Hollywood’s biggest stars – is a mountain of a man, befitting his moniker. An almost two-metre tall, 118kg behemoth, The Rock takes his fitness seriously, even working out so hard he starts bleeding.

Being the muscliest man in showbiz has been an integral part of his success. But sometimes being buff as hell can have its downsides, as the 48-year-old shared on Instagram yesterday.

Currently filming the Netflix movie Red Notice, a comedy heist flick, alongside Gal Gadot and Ryan Reynolds, Johnson sheepishly related how filming was paused because he was “too big to fit in yet another sports car and now we have to change the entire shot sequence around.”

“My writer/director Rawson Thurber (pictured here on the ground setting up the new camera angle) wrote this INSANE chase sequence where I hop in this iconic Porsche and be the bad-ass behind the wheel that I am. Well, after months of prep and costs buying and shipping this car over to the States – it’s time to rehearse the big chase sequence.”

But The Rock found out quickly that his back was too wide to even fit in the car, the actor trying to “shimmy into this Porsche like a big ass brown marshmallow getting shoved into a coin slot.”

“After about 15 seconds of uncomfortable silence… Rawson, [I] and the entire crew just started laughing our asses off!! In the end we showed our agility to think quick on our feet and found “creative” ways to still get the shot.”

Image: @therock

Admittedly it’s not a problem most of us are likely to ever encounter… Firstly, having a Porsche in the first place and secondly being so incredibly huge that we can’t fit in it.

The Porsche in question is a Taycan Turbo S: perhaps the most exciting car the German marque has released in recent memory. Don’t let the ‘Turbo’ designation fool you: this car is completely electrified, being the first all-electric Porsche production car. The ‘Turbo S’ model simply refers to the highest-performance version of the car, in line with Porsche’s traditional model designations.

All all-wheel-drive monster making 560kW and 1,050Nm of torque, the Taycan Turbo S is a blisteringly fast ‘Tesla killer’ of a car. Porsche Australia claims that it makes 0-100 in 2.8secs but independent testing would suggest that the Stuttgart brand is being conservative with that figure: according to Car and Driver, it’s the third-quickest car they’ve ever tested, only beaten out by the Porsche 918 Spyder and the Lamborghini Huracán Performante.

Credit where it’s due that The Rock still managed to get the shot for the film, but we feel sorry for him, honestly. Not being able to fit in the Taycan and experience its mind-boggling performance for himself must be one hell of a tease…

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The $2 Australian ‘Cultural Institution’ America Will Never Understand
The $2 Australian ‘Cultural Institution’ America Will Never Understand

Australians might be deservedly proud of our world-class coffee culture and spirits such as gin, but Australian cuisine is another story altogether.Of course, ‘Australian food’ is like saying you speak ‘Australian’ – because there’s no such thing. Australian cuisine is a melting pot of the world’s best culinary traditions, Indigenous knowledge and modern innovations, defined more by the quality and unique nature of our ingredients more than a distinct national cuisine.Many foods we consider ‘Australian’ are also a matter of contention. The Kiwis claim pavlova, meat pies are still rather British and the Chiko roll is just a bastardised spring roll, which is found in a number of Asian cuisines. And is fairy bread really worthy of being considered its own distinct dish? It’s nothing to get too proud about…But something we’ll defend to our dying breath is the institution that is the Bunnings sausage sizzle. Not only is it cheap, tasty and universally appreciated, it’s emblematic of the modern Australian experience: it’s more than the sum of its parts, just like Australia’s people.

For those of you who are still scratching your heads, Bunnings Warehouse is a hardware store chain, similar in size (and market saturation) to Home Depot in the US or B&Q in the UK. Bunnings stores are ubiquitous in suburban Australia, and do everything from selling pot plants, decking and chainsaws to key cutting and pool water testing.What they’re best known for, however, is their community sausage sizzles. Virtually all Bunnings stores host sausage sizzles on the weekend, giving community groups space and equipment to host fundraising BBQs. The big green marquees, long Bunnings hotplates, the indescribably good smell of cheap sausages and onion sizzling away… It’s fair to say many people turn up to Bunnings not for the hardware but for the snags.While you’d be hard-pressed to find an Aussie who’s not a fan of the store’s meaty offerings, some Redditors shared some choice comments about the above Tweet on /r/Australia.“When do Bunnings put butter on the bread? What affluent suburb does she live in? What charities decide to actively lose profit margin? I have so many more questions,” one commenter mused.While you’d think it would be pretty easy to wrap your head around (and even harder to fuck up), Bunnings failed to impress upon Great Britain the value of the humble sausage sizzle. When parent company Wesfarmers took over the ailing UK chain Homebase and converted its existing locations to Bunnings stores – sausage sizzle included – it failed to gel with the British public, as The Sydney Morning Herald reported in 2018. Wesfarmers and Bunnings departed the UK in the same year.RELATED: ‘Surf & Turf War’: Lobsters Could Be Replacing Steaks On Australian PlatesAh well. We don’t care if the rest of the world doesn’t understand. More $2.50 snags for us.

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Business Class ‘Slammertime’ Ritual Sparks Outrage At 40,000ft
Business Class ‘Slammertime’ Ritual Sparks Outrage At 40,000ft

Think coronavirus is the only thing to go viral this year? Think again.There’s a new trend in town, and many are not happy about it.The ritual? ‘Slammertime’ – skulling your flute of champagne whilst sitting at the pointy end of a plane.Far from an empty hedonistic gesture, its proponents say it fires a socio-political shot across the suite.The creator of ‘slammertime’ anonymously told DMARGE that ‘slammertime’ started as a gentle f*ck you to the pointy end snobs of the world (as well as just “a huge amount of fun”).

 
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“The whole thing of slammers started when I had never flown in business class and felt heavily judged and profiled for how I dressed, acted and behaved. I don’t think there should be a stigma about nice things. How many people have walked into a really nice restaurant or hotel and felt profiled?”

“This shouldn’t be the case and it’s a bit of fun trying to break down classist boundaries which I don’t think should exist. The behaviour is light-hearted and fun and brings us as everyday people together. I must get sent hundreds of videos each week from people of all backgrounds doing a slammer on a plane or at home, and it’s just a fun thing. Similar to perhaps doing a round of shots on a night out.”

Perth-based travel blogger and owner of Flight Hacks Immanuel Debeer, who was alerted to the trend by a friend, told DMARGE ‘slammertime’ was “the only morale booster these days.”

 
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Canadian travel hacker Spencer Giles, who “was introduced to [‘slammertime’] by people on Instagram,” said part of the attraction was the reaction.

“It’s entertaining when you get a sudden eye roll or reaction from an elite frequent flyer on board in first or business class cabins. Its something we look forward to and will continue to do so on all our trips when possible.”

 Sydney University professor of sociology Robert Van Krieken told DMARGE he sympathised with the critics of ‘slammertime.’“From a distance, tasteless and tone-deaf sounds pretty right to me,” Van Krieken said.“When I think about it I don’t regard business class travellers as being all that well-dressed…I’ve seen some pretty shabby types wander though to business, and the very few times I’ve flown business, I haven’t felt at all that other passengers are particularly stuck up – it’s just a plane trip, and mostly everyone just keeps to themselves.”

“Finally, the behaviour being described would get lots of disapproving looks and ‘eye-rolls’ in cattle class as well, we’re talking about standards of behaviour in public places that don’t actually vary that much across class differences ….if anything, I’d imagine upper class young folk would actually be *more* tolerant of it. It’s ‘excess’, and that’ll get disapproval in most places. The difference is that you don’t get champagne in Economy.”

“Yes, it is a bit of ‘new’ versus ‘old’ money…But just a bit, there’s a lot of ‘new’ money in business class anyway…Personally I’d lean more towards the performativity of Instagram and Twitter, the pursuit of attention – they’re communicating primarily with their social media audience, not with the other people on the plane,” Van Krieken added.When asked what his response would be to ‘slammertime’ detractors, the ‘slammertime’ founder said, “I would personally never judge anyone for their actions as long as they are not acting like a Knobhead and in good moral faith. It’s harmless and demonstrates a lot more about how others should look at themselves if they feel the necessity to judge some people having some totally innocent fun.”

“I’m a peasant myself. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, and none of us should be judged for not harming anyone. That’s a really negative trait of a person if they judge someone I feel for that.”

“I couldn’t care less about likes or engagement, never have. I care about keeping it real, acting with good morals and making people smile a bit.”RELATED: Spoils Of Being The Only Business Class Passenger On A Covid Era FlightA Qantas flight attendant told DMARGE she sees two sides to ‘slammertime.’“I’m really unsure of the ‘slammertime’ trend. I mean I see a lot of people drinking too much and mixing drinks with sleeping pills… it never ends well. It’s a plane not a restaurant. People should remember that and respect flight attendants.”However, she also said, “I definitely wouldn’t see it as rude. Airlines such as Qantas pride themselves on making customers feel welcome and at home… many people are excited and paid a large amount to fly. I personally love a few bubbles with arriving on board a business class flight.”“However common sense must prevail. And customers must remember it’s not a bar. There’s a time and place for getting smashed and a plane is not it. So knowing when to stop and acknowledging the demands that air travel has on the body is really important.”

Image: Immanuel Debeer
Lizzie Post, etiquette expert and co-president of The Emily Post Institute told DMARGE, “any time you wave your [metaphorical] middle finger at the outside word it’s probably not good etiquette.”

“This doesn’t mean it’s not funny or understandable, but it says more about you than those it’s aimed towards.”

“I’m not sure if it’s good. Personally, I’d find another way.”Whatever your take on the trend, once travel gets back to normal, expect the hashtag (there are currently 2,612 Instagram posts with the hashtag ‘slammertime’) to grow.As frequent flyer Debeer told DMARGE earlier this year, “I’ve… added the compulsory slammer to my pre-departure checklist.”RELATED: Virgin Australia ‘Noodlegate’ Sparks Concerns Over ‘Americanisation Of Business Class’While DMARGE would like to warn against the risks of lazily generalisations like “elites” and “the media” we can’t help but feel our hearts warmed by the irreverent ‘slammertime’ trend.Even if you disagree with the sheer excess of business class (a fair objection to make, but not one we have time to get into here), those doing ‘slammertime’ are not wasting any more resources than the other business class passengers – they are just doing it in a more conspicuous way.What will happen next to ‘slammertime’? Watch this (air) space.

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High Class Escort ‘Samantha X’ Sums Up Australia’s Loneliness Crisis In One Photo
High Class Escort ‘Samantha X’ Sums Up Australia’s Loneliness Crisis In One Photo

Australia is going through a lonliness crisis. Numerous experts have chimed in on this, with VicHealth calling it a “new public health challenge.”Likewise, high class escort Samantha X has told DMARGE the reason many men seek her services is for the emotional connection.As DMARGE recently discussed with Samantha Jayne, Relationship Expert and Advisor to Channel 10’s The Bachelor, the problem could be even more specific than lonliness generally.It could be due to a phenomenon called “emotional horniness” – a topic being discussed in great detail on Reddit.“What do you do when you’re emotionally horny?” one man asked recently.

“I can take care of the physical. Men, we have it easy. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. But when you’re emotionally drained, it’s not like you can touch yourself to emulate a female. I want to be understood, feel giddy, learn about someone, have a bonding type of feeling, etc.”

“It’s not a physical problem I have, it’s a mental thing I want taken care of. A quick release will not help me. I’m looking for someone to help me with ideas, career, future, problems, issues etc.”

“What do I do to take care of that! You can’t jerk off your mind.”

On this topic, Jayne warns apps like Only Fans, downloaded like the plague during this time of… plague… are “total band-aid solutions.”High class escort Samantha X has a solution of her own. Whether or not it’s a band-aid we’ll leave up to you. But a recent photo she took while on the job provides an interesting insight into Australia’s escort industry you don’t see every day.

“The excitement of walking slowly down the corridor of an expensive hotel, not knowing the man who will open the door,” Samantha X captioned the photo, which she posted on Instagram on Wednesday.

“The view. The company. The connection. So many reasons why I love what I do. It’s an addiction I don’t want to give up. Ever.”

This is not the first time Samantha X has given us snapshots of what her relationship is like with he job and her clients.In a previous article Samantha told us ““Believe it or not, it’s not porn star sex my clients want; they would run a mile…”This was backed up with (anonymous) Instagram images of clients in hotels, and their stories.

The main takeaway? It’s all about the connection, not the physical.Make of that what you will.

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Tourists Caught Using Sneaky Trick To Holiday Overseas
Tourists Caught Using Sneaky Trick To Holiday Overseas

Drug smuggling, human trafficking, not declaring agricultural or food products; air travel is never short of passengers trying to bypass federal and state laws for their own personal gain.

But the latest dodgy dealings have come in the wake of the global coronavirus pandemic, which has seen some desperate holidaymakers paying for counterfeit negative Covid-19 test results to allow them to enter countries where providing a test result has become commonplace.

As news.com.au reports (citing the Washington Post), fraudulent test results have recently surfaced in Brazil, France and the UK, although it’s expected counterfeit tests have been (and will be) presented in other countries.


The Associated Press adds that a seven-strong group of Covid con-artists were arrested at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris, France for selling doctored negative test results – created at a medical lab in Paris – for between $245-$492 to passengers who were entering France without their own test to hand.

While four people: two men and two women, were arrested in Brazil for providing false Covid test results, proving it’s not just the dealers being caught, but tourists too. They were eventually charged with falsifying documents, using falsified documents and criminal association

Several tourism-dependent countries have implemented the strategy to require at least one negative test result. In some cases, such as with private Fijian island Laucala – which is allowing rich Americans the chance to hire the island for their own private endeavours – requires three negative tests, the most recent of which needs to be presented before boarding.

Airlines are taking it upon themselves to help authorities crack down on coronavirus counterfeiters, such as releasing apps that will allow passengers to upload their genuine negative test results before being verified (we’re assuming results will be verified for validity by medical professionals).

Etihad has even gone to the lengths of implementing a ‘call out’ service that will see a medical professional go to a passenger’s house, test them and deliver the results before they leave for the airport.


Of course, the sanest advice anyone could give someone wanting to travel yet unable to obtain a negative test result is to not travel. We understand people are desperate to leave the confines of their home and to escape lockdown laws, but seriously – are you joking?

Keep calm and stay at home. Your holiday tan can wait.

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