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How Not To Get Shot Or Arrested In Morocco

A fragrant melting pot of Arabic, Andalucian, Berber and French culture (and spices), Morocco is a country of incredible beauty and culture. But when you cross the Gibraltar Strait and enter Morocco, you’re not just leaving Spain—you’re leaving Europe.Of course: you can get yourself into trouble in a London nightclub, a Parisien pub or at a Barcelona boat party, but—generally speaking—you have a good idea of how debaucherous you can get without majorly irritating anyone.However in Morocco, unless you keep a copy of The Lonely Planet in your bathroom and Tripadvisor cheat-sheets glued to your bedroom walls, it’s not as obvious what the rules of etiquette are.Although Moroccans are some of the most hospitable people in the world (and while the younger generations are becoming more relaxed about religious customs than those that preceded them), there are still a number of boundaries you ought not cross.From the clothes you should (and shouldn’t) wear to handy local slang that will help you really connect with people, this is your guide to travel etiquette in Morocco.

Don’t Go In For The Hug

In Morocco, men usually shake hands rather than hug. This is traditionally followed by gently touching your heart with your right hand.While it’s not offensive if you don’t, much like learning a bit of lingo, going the extra mile to embrace the local customs is always appreciated (who knows, it may even score you an invite to some Tagine).As for greeting (or saying goodbye to) a woman: don’t try and shake her hand or make any physical contact, unless she initiates it herself (they have to be quite careful with this, due to religious beliefs).

Be A Good Guest; Bring Sweets

When invited to someone’s home, it is customary to take a gift, such as sweet pastries, tea or sugar.

Learn A Few Local Phrases

While French is widespread in Morocco, Arabic is a better way to break the ice. Here are a few good starting points:

“Alsalam ealaykum” – pronounced, “Salaaaam Alleykoom.” Literal meaning: peace be with you. More often used as a casual greeting though.
“Jawahra” – pronounced, “Hoy yah”. Literal meaning: Jewell. Used as an affectionate term like, “Mate.” If used correctly, it could even get you free parking from the lot attendants.
“Shukraan” – thanks.
“Na’aam” – yes.
“La” – no.
“Aiwa” – ok.
“Bi Kam” – how much is this?

Dress Respectfully

In terms of attire, both male and female visitors should keep their shoulders covered (i.e. leave your Bintang singlet at home). This is especially important outside of the cities, in areas where people may be more conservative (like the Berber Mountains). In these places, even above-the-knee shorts may be seen as inappropriate—on either gender. So stick to trousers and a modest tee.

Eat With The Right Hand

According to The Lonely Planet, “Eating with the left hand is considered unclean as it’s used for toilet duties,” which led multiple other travel blogs to urge their readers not to handle food with their left hand, particularly if eating from a communal dish like a tagine. In our experience, however, the locals were too busy doling out Zaalouk and enthusiastically urging us to eat more to care which hand we used.

Keep Your Wits About You On The Train

If you have luggage that doesn’t fit into the overhead racks provided, as we found out with our surfboard, don’t leave it up against the wall unless you want a supremely angry conductor to tell you to get off the train (while you may be told it’s ok to bring it at the ticket office, the story can change once you’re onboard). An alternative to this is to get the bus between towns, where all the luggage gets chucked in the hold.Another tip, if you are catching the overnight train, is to book a first class ticket, which—at just $10 or so more than Coach—is a quality sleep-vestment. Finally: be wary of doors that remain half-open throughout the whole trip, and if you get the choice don’t sit too close to the bathrooms, which (on some trains) tend to get blocked from about one hour in.

Don’t Eat Or Smoke In The Street During Ramadan

However hungry you are, or however desperate you are for that nicotine boost, if you are visiting Morocco during Ramadan have some patience and wait until after sunset.

Don’t Try To Enter A Mosque (Unless You’re A Muslim)

Our rooftop courtyard, and a mosque in the background.

As Rough Guides, a travel website, points out, “Without a doubt, one of the major disappointments of travelling in Morocco, if you are not Muslim is not being allowed into its mosques.”

“The only exceptions are the partially restored Almohad structure of Tin Mal in the High Atlas, the similarly disused Great Mosque at Smara in the Western Sahara, the courtyard of the sanctuary-mosque of Moulay Ismail in Meknes and the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca.”

“Elsewhere, if you are not a believer, you’ll have to be content with an occasional glimpse through open doors, and even in this you should be sensitive: people don’t seem to mind tourists peering into the Kairaouine Mosque in Fez (the country’s most important religious building), but in the country you should never approach a shrine too closely.”From what we gleaned (staying next door to a Mosque), this is good advice. The only other information we’d offer is that if you are a late riser you might not want to stay too close to a Mosque, lest you be woken by the early morning prayers.Above all, use your common sense, be friendly and show respect.

Technical Specifications

Case: 42mm steel in satin finish
Movement: In-house made Calibre MT5612 (COSC certified)
Functions: Hours, minutes, seconds and date
Dial: Domed matte black
Power reserve: 70 hours
Crown: Screw-down steel winding crown at 4 o’clock
Water resistance: 200m
Bracelet: Hybrid leather and rubber strap

Technical Specifications

Case: 42mm stainless steel
Movement: Breitling Manufacture Caliber 01
Dial: Black with silver contrasting fields, Super-LumiNova luminescent hour and minute hands
Functions: hour, minute, second, date window, small seconds counters at 9H and 3H
Power reserve: 70 hours
Water resistance: 100m
Strap: Brown vintage raw-leather strap or stainless-steel bracelet

Quick Facts

Cost: AU$67,900
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
0-100kmh: 5.8 seconds
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo producing 190kW and 400Nm (330i model)
Fuel consumption: 6.4L/100km (330i model)

1. You can’t call the 3 Series boring anymore thanks to its sharp new design.

From the front fascia to the rear end to the raised sideline profile, the new 3 Series is a proper departure from conservative design. BMW added more angles and edges to increase the car’s presence. The optioned wheels even have a self-levelling BMW logo as found in Rolls Royces – i.e. the wheel spins but the logo doesn’t.

2. It manages to squeeze impressive power out of a four-cylinder engine both in petrol and diesel formats.

That’s because it’s the most powerful four-cylinder to ever power a 3 Series BMW. And this fact translates perfectly on the road where the car seamlessly weaves through traffic and gets going with ease on the wider open roads.

3. We actually preferred the 320d’s diesel motor for this particular leg of the trip.

Despite the 50kW drop in power compared to the petrol model, the 320d actually felt more responsive and smoother throughout our drive with sport mode activated. Both the diesel and petrol get the same 400Nm rating but the latter does sound nicer at higher RPMs.

4. A four-door sedan shouldn’t drive and feel like this, but it does…

Tight, responsive, impressive feedback and superb ride quality is the only way to explain the 3 Series’ handling characteristics. BMW have the car’s tricky new dual phase suspension to thank for this as it enables the car to eat up questionable road surfaces with little drama. Lean into a corner hard and the car’s suspension stiffens allowing it to feel much lighter nimbler than what it is.

5. Did we mention the chassis is smarter, too?

The car boasts a perfect 50:50 weight distribution, it’s 55kg lighter than the previous model and has improved rigidity in the region of 25% – 50%. These figures all play into the car’s superb handling capability and road feel which we can’t praise enough. You can thank Nurburgring testing for that.

6. Air curtains in the front grille, flat underbody at the bottom.

The aero game is strong in this one. BMW’s signature front kidney grilles now flow into the headlights and come equipped with ‘air curtains’ which channel air into the engine bay when cooling is needed and closes off when it’s not (engine warm up). This ensures engine performance is always at optimum levels no matter how you drive the car.

7. Freakish automatic reversing still takes some getting used to.

We previously trialled this new technology in the new X5 and it now exists in the new 3 Series. Under 36km/h the car is recording and tracking your every move. It remembers where the parking spot was and parks itself as the driver watches on via the centre console.

8. The interior is much more streamlined and cleaner to look at.

In true German (and BMW) design, the interior is sleek, sophisticated and tactical with minimal clutter to distract and a nice ‘aluminium teragon’ finish.

9. Dash plastics were a bit harder on our standard trim diesel model.

In standard trim and without some interior options ticked, the car can feature some harder plastics on the dash. A minor issue but one we noticed.

10. Leather seats with adjustable side bolsters will bring back your inner-boy racer.

The M Sport bucket seat option receives electric-adjustable side bolsters which are very nice place to plant yourself when you need comfort and support.

12. The full digital tacho is brighter than my future.

It took us a while to warm to full digital dashes but BMW’s one is one of the finest we’ve encountered – informative, uncluttered, vibrant and just the right amount of info the driver needs.

13. The HUD was also more vibrant and helpful than expected.

No speeding tickets for us. There’s a HUD in every new 3 Series as standard and it’s bigger than the outgoing model’s.

13. Your in-laws might hate you but they won’t complain about the interior space.

A longer wheel base means there’s more cabin room for them to enjoy as you decide which nursing home to drop them off at. There’s even 480-litres of luggage capacity to save you the removalist fees.

14. We expected more from the 330i M Sport edition but it will do for now until the M3 arrives

The white car looked faster than it went. It wasn’t slow in anyway, it just featured very cool M-Sport options which made it look more aggressive than what it was. Alas, it was just cosmetic.

15. USB-C ports are included which is good for future-proofing.

Too bad we’re still using a dodgy old iPhone 6.

16. It will keep you out of trouble even if you love trouble

Short of being David Hasselhoff’s talking car, the new 3 Series is safer than a tank with brains. Lane departure warning, reversing cameras, parking assistance, front collision warning, speed limit updates and adaptive LED headlights makes this a winner.

17. Fuel economy on the 320d model is laughable…

Laughably good at 4.5L/100km.

18. A wagon version could be on the way…

Shooting brake fans rejoice. BMW reps were tight-lipped about confirming a potential wagon variant, but they said that if it does arrive, it will come between between 6 – 12 months after this base model’s debut.

Men Don’t Ask Questions, We Just Do…

Guilty. Most men tend to be natural problem solvers (whether we’re successful or not is another question) and it’s only when we’re on our last legs that we raise our hand. Details are also scarce when the situation is non-critical. Take for example one female Reddit user’s husband who attempted to plan a games night:

“Husband and friend make plans to have a games night, starting 5pm at friend’s place. That’s all the info covered,” the Redditor explains.

“Should we bring any games? It is at dinner time, are we eating there? Are we meant to bring food? How many people are we feeding? Who is going to be there?”

“Nothing. He knows nothing.”

The reply was swift from men on this one. “If we were required to do more we’d have received that information. If all we get is a time and place, we know all we need to do is show up fully clothed unless otherwise specified.”

We can’t argue with that point.

We Do Ask Stupid Questions

It’s no surprise that when men do ask questions, they can be a bit left of field. We have the ability to remember random things down to the minutest detail, but can completely neglect others without prejudice. Case in point, this female Redditor explaining her dismay of hubby’s priorities:

“Man talking golf to friends: I was on the third hole, my second shot, my ball was in the second cut about 6 feet from that big oak tree and about 3 feet from that big root that looks like a skinny chic’s ass. I used my three wood and hit the perfect shot landing just 2 feet from the pin.”

“Wife: Can you pick up third child from school today? Man: What school does he go to?”

Touche.

Men Are Naturally Random

Men are visual creatures and we like to visualise in our free time. Our goals, aspirations, where we’ll be in ten years, what life would be like if we married Jennifer Aniston…and sometimes even things that baffle ourselves. And if it baffles us, god knows what it’s doing to women. Reddit knows though:

“I haven’t noticed this with girls but I have noticed that my husband will just like stare out into space with severe concentration and I’ll be like ‘what’s wrong babe?’ And he will say something like ‘if all of our pets attacked me at once, do you think I could fight them off?'”

“I’ve seen other guys do this too, it’s just so fascinating.”

There’s a very answer for that fascination in this response from a male user: “Lmao. He simply spoke the thoughts out loud. Other men cover up with ‘nothing’.”

Another male user confirms this confusing behaviour simply as ‘mind drift’. “I wonder if I went outside with my TV remote, could I still change channel? What if I can’t see the TV? How would I know if it was on? Have I got a mirror to reflect the view? Would that affect the connection if I had a mirror?”

Ah, so many unsolved mysteries.

Your Home Is Our Home

This doesn’t apply to people you’ve just met but often times when you’ve known someone for more than a year and you’re close friends, your home is indeed our home. A male Redditor explained his wife’s conundrum:

“My wife says she never understood how my friend walks into the apartment and goes straight to the kitchen and grabs stuff to eat/drink like it’s his own home. On top of it I don’t give af. She says she could never do that with her girlfriends.”

It’s safe to assume not all guys are like this. Some guys might be more respectful and offer to replace something they’ve taken out of your fridge. Think of it as a barter system

Insults Equals A Healthy Friendship

“What is up with having friends that give you shit and attitude and it’s all good? It’s like you all like to torment each other and laugh about it!” said one female Redditor.

Men don’t tend to bond over emotional outpouring or compliments. If we tell you that your face looks like a month-old smashed avocado, it’s basically an invite for a comeback before a good chuckle. This kind of banter doesn’t apply to making insults about one’s partner or family.

What The Experts Say…

The crux of this phenomenon has been looked at in the past. According to the book Results at the Top by Barbara Annis and Richard Nesbitt, which examines gender differences, it all comes down to how men and women process information. In some of their most interesting findings explained by Science & People, they outlined the following:

Why women remember everything –

Women have a larger hippocampus. This is where we store memories. This is why women can recall Every. Single. Word. of an argument from 5 years ago.

Women feel while men use logic –

Men take a more fact-based approach to their environment, often scanning for threats and challenges.
Women tend to take a more intuitive approach because they perceive people and events more deeply and with greater memory capacity.

We problem-solve differently –

Men tend to converge in their thinking. They define and clarify the problem and begin by eliminating and isolating issues.
Women often will define the problem in broader terms and examine a wider array of potential factors before going into solution mode.
This is why women want to talk out problems and men want to dive right into solving them.

Don’t Go In For The Hug

Be A Good Guest; Bring Sweets

Learn A Few Local Phrases

Dress Respectfully

Eat With The Right Hand

Keep Your Wits About You On The Train

Don’t Eat Or Smoke In The Street During Ramadan

Don’t Try To Enter A Mosque (Unless You’re A Muslim)

Read Next

Technical Specifications

Read Next

Technical Specifications

Read Next

Read Next

Quick Facts

1. You can’t call the 3 Series boring anymore thanks to its sharp new design.

2. It manages to squeeze impressive power out of a four-cylinder engine both in petrol and diesel formats.

3. We actually preferred the 320d’s diesel motor for this particular leg of the trip.

4. A four-door sedan shouldn’t drive and feel like this, but it does…

5. Did we mention the chassis is smarter, too?

6. Air curtains in the front grille, flat underbody at the bottom.

7. Freakish automatic reversing still takes some getting used to.

8. The interior is much more streamlined and cleaner to look at.

9. Dash plastics were a bit harder on our standard trim diesel model.

10. Leather seats with adjustable side bolsters will bring back your inner-boy racer.

12. The full digital tacho is brighter than my future.

13. The HUD was also more vibrant and helpful than expected.

13. Your in-laws might hate you but they won’t complain about the interior space.

14. We expected more from the 330i M Sport edition but it will do for now until the M3 arrives

15. USB-C ports are included which is good for future-proofing.

16. It will keep you out of trouble even if you love trouble

17. Fuel economy on the 320d model is laughable…

18. A wagon version could be on the way…

Read Next

Read Next

Men Don’t Ask Questions, We Just Do…

We Do Ask Stupid Questions

Men Are Naturally Random

Your Home Is Our Home

Insults Equals A Healthy Friendship

What The Experts Say…

Read Next

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